Be Our Guest

2 Feb

It’s been 5 months since our wedding, but I think I’m still in bride-overdrive mode. I’m sure a huge reason for this is the fact that I am a part of the online community called Weddingbee. Weddingbee is an online community of women who are in various stages of wedding planning or who are already married. It was very helpful while planning our wedding and has been a great place to “hang out” after the fact too. Since I’m always thinking about weddings I thought I would write a post that I wish I could have written a year ago.This post is for EVERYONE, not just brides. So pay attention!

The top ten ways to be a good wedding guest….

  1. RSVP – First of all, do it. If you forget to RSVP and realize this faux pas, immediately call the bride and let her know. Don’t just assume she will know that you are not coming because you haven’t sent back your card. In addition, don’t just send the card back on the date the cards are due by – send it as early as you know whether or not you will be attending that wedding. Don’t forget to put your name on the RSVP card – not everyone is as smart as me and numbers the back of them! And if possible, write a little note of warm wishes – it will brighten that brides day when she is stressed about who did not send back their RSVP card!
  2. Don’t be a bother – Please do not call the bride and ask for details about where and when the wedding is and where to stay. Check your Save the Date (yes they have a purpose) for a wedding website and go there immediately. Scour the site for the information you’re looking for because I can 99% guarantee that the bride has obsessed over every part of that website. READ EVERYTHING.
  3. Book your hotel early – The last thing a bride wants to deal with in the weeks leading up to her wedding is figuring out where you are going to stay at the last minute. Why do you think you got a save the date? And why do you think that hotel block was reserved months in advance?
  4. Don’t wear white – Honestly, I didnt’ care that 4 people wore white to my wedding. (Yes I counted!) The reason I didn’t care is because none of them were trying to be a bride – it was 95 degrees out and they all looked cute! But just to be safe, don’t wear white. Many brides don’t appreciate this act!
  5. Don’t dress too casually – Try to get a feel for what you should wear based on the formality of the invitation (including the wording) and the formality of the venue. If you’re male – your best bet is to wear a suit with a tie – you can always remove the jacket and tie if you’re too dressed up. If you’re female your best bet is to wear a LBD or a cocktail dress – you really can’t go wrong with that!
  6. Take pictures – Please, please, please take pictures at other people’s weddings! Take pictures of anything you like and EVERYTHING. Yes, the couple has a photographer but the photographer can only be so many places at one time. Take pictures of the food, your escort card, yourself with other guests, guests at tables, dancing, the ceremony, the venue, and most importantly take a picture with the bride and groom!
  7. Take a picture with the bride and groom – Honestly it is really difficult to remember to get a picture with all of your guests on your wedding day. There is so much going on and so many people to see and getting a picture with your Aunt Edna just doesn’t cross your mind. Then you get your pro pictures back and there are NO pictures of you and Aunt Edna. If Aunt Edna had just come up to the bride and groom for a picture, you would have it. Don’t be afraid to tap the bride or groom on the shoulder for a quick picture. Or even ask the photographer to get one for you!
  8. Dance! – If there is dancing at the wedding you’re attending – get out on the dance floor and get down! This is one of the best ways to spend time with the bride and groom and it will guarantee that you are having fun. In addition, the photographer tends to take a lot of pictures of people dancing that are way more candid than the posed ones. No one cares how you’re dancing, so just do it!
  9. Give cash or registry gifts – Unless you know the couple very well and know exactly what they would want that isn’t on their registry, try to stick to giving them cash (check) or something from the registry. It is hard for a couple when they receive something they have absolutely no use for or is not their taste at all (or doesn’t go with their stuff) and is not returnable. A gift should not be a burden and by contributing to someone’s junk pile/closet you are putting a burden on them!
  10. Be understanding – This applies to any and all aspects of wedding planning and the wedding itself. If the couple can’t invite you to the wedding because of budget or space, try to understand. Same thing goes for the rehearsal dinner. If the couple is including something in their wedding that you don’t agree with or don’t like, just go with the flow. Try to remember that the wedding is about THE COUPLE coming together and committing to one another. If you are understanding of their choices – whether it be guest list, location, food, type of ceremony or whatever – you will have a much more fun time and be a great guest to have at a wedding!


7 Responses to “Be Our Guest”

  1. laura February 2, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    Great post—I completely agree with all of this.

  2. This Italian Family February 2, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

    These are all such great tips!! I just posted a recap of our wedding and it has me thinking about weddings all over again. Plus I’m in the midst of three weddings being planned right now so I’ve definitely got it on my mind. 🙂

  3. Kimberly February 2, 2011 at 4:15 pm #

    Ohh I totally agree with guests making sure to take photos! Some of our guests took TONS of photos and I am soo thankful. They were able to capture some of our family in ways our photographers couldn’t. Also, I agree with the dancing part. I hate it when guests don’t get involved and dance. We also received quite a few non-registry, non-$$$ gifts for our wedding and they are still sitting in a closet, not being used (bc we don’t know what to do with them!).

    If you are going to give a gift to the Bride and Groom PLEASE give off their registry. It’s there for a reason people!!!

  4. Meredith February 5, 2011 at 7:16 pm #

    Love this post! Gosh, especially about the registry. We had an engagement party in December and while a lot of people bought off of our registries, we got a ton of SUPER random stuff too. Aaaand a lot of it was not anything I would have ever picked. I mean jeez, I don’t care if it’s a $10 Target giftcard – those add up, and I can use them!

    • suburbianbliss February 6, 2011 at 5:54 am #

      I totally agree! I will definitely buy from the registries for the next few weddings well go to – or just give cash 🙂

  5. Angie @ The Fitness Apple February 7, 2011 at 2:07 am #

    Such a great post! 🙂 I totally agree on the not wearing white comment! I’m so glad to come across your blog! I will be following you (not to sound to stalkerish haha)

  6. Elizabeth February 12, 2011 at 4:41 am #

    Love this post – totally found it by accident. I was married over a year ago and I still feel like I’m detoxing from wedding planning, you’re not alone.

    And yes, #1 rule – learn to RVSP – and not just for weddings. And be honest if and why you are a maybe. It helps the hostess/bride follow up with you later!

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