Something you have to forgive yourself for

21 Feb

If you remember, I started the 30 days of truth about a week and a half ago. I only got through 2 posts so far (my bad) so it’s time to get things going again!

Day 3 is Something you have to forgive yourself for. Well, first I’ll say, not blogging regularly. Because even though I’d like to be that cool person who has interesting things to write about all the time, I’m not. But it’s not that big of a deal.

The thing I most have to forgive myself for is not studying abroad during college. Before I met Noah, I had intended to study abroad. The first semester of my sophomore year I thought and talked a lot about going to Spain for a semester. I had studied Spanish all through school up until my first semester freshman year, so I felt like it would be a great place for me to go. January rolled around and the applications were due in just a few weeks. Then I met and started spending all my time with Noah. For the first few months of our relationship, Noah and I didn’t have a title and did not discuss what we were. Even though I knew we had a connection, for all I knew it wasn’t going to last too long. I thought more about going away for a semester my junior year and the thought really scared me. I didn’t want to apply and commit to something when I felt so strongly about Noah because I was scared to lose him. It wasn’t until 4 months after we started seeing each other that Noah and I actually gave a name to what we were. And by then the time had passed for me to turn in that application.

Ever since then I beat myself up for not going because I felt like I missed out on something that I would never be able to have again. What I’m realizing now is that even though study abroad would have been great, I wouldn’t have had the time I did with Noah and things may have been different. And I don’t know how I would have gone 3.5 months without seeing Noah! I miss him too much when he’s gone for just two nights! I guess it just wasn’t in my cards, but instead I met the love of my life – so I think it’s forgivable that I didn’t go!

 

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3 Responses to “Something you have to forgive yourself for”

  1. This Italian Family February 21, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    I definitely agree that it’s forgivable that you didn’t go. Maybe the two of you can go together some day! 🙂

  2. paws February 21, 2011 at 8:38 pm #

    Yeah I agree you do have to forgive yourself. As if you had gone, things could be different, so be pleased with yourself for meeting the love of your life and listening to your heart.

  3. Mrs. JYW February 22, 2011 at 2:28 pm #

    Totally forgiveable, but I completely understand the sentiment. I skipped out on study abroad for an EX!!!! At least you did it for Noah! 🙂 Well worth the time spent together 🙂

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